Class 64: Oink To The Oi

Brayed Oi United to Oink FC:
Oi, Fulsome Cowboy,
Long time no see!
For a daily dorky,
A day awol,
Is cause for worry.

Whassup? No more hawing at the Club?
Whatsa jazz? You running outta gas?
C'mon in, grab some grub!
WAH, YA, SZ and I,
Are worried and wondering why.

Altho the tip of your lance-in-pencil
Is at times sharp, at times limp,
We, members of the Tribal Council,
Are in no trance, being
Neither a zombie, nor a wimp.

We have sensitivities a few, you Fing,
So go easy on the Malay thing-a-ling,
On this, the Net Forum,
Mindful of tribal decorum,
We frown on any hokum-pokum;
We are here primarily to say Hello;
Occasionally warn of non-halal products, Lo!
A virus or two, maybe worms too,
While passe are jokes leached from the loo,
Golf and dinner invites are okay too,
That's all that are comfortable, Yahoo!

So no, we don't have to sit cross-lapped,
Holding a cup to your crap;
What to you are carps and complaints,
Not even profound, just plain profane,
Are to us a yarn, held in disdain;
To the head, heavy; in the butt, a pain.

Ever wonder why JoeK, TA and AI,
And the rest of class 64,
Perched on table high,
Don't dang deign the padang turun,
And with one another interact?
Even if the padang is only the Net?

No, not because they lead busy lives,
Grasshopping down the Green,
Or being Lounge Lizards at a Resort,
But you've turned this once merry hive,
Into a burial site that is barely alive,
With many a sting, many a sigh,
And raised the bar a notch,
The heat a degree, too high.

Not that we engineer, captain, school dean,
Private practitioner, exporter-importer,
Political aspirant and tin-miner,
Mostly ex, some botak, others botox'd,
Are lacking in might and means,
But we find your demeanor,
Obnoxious in the extreme.

Our sacred cows tribal,
You denounced as inconsequential,
Trivial; our Cause Celebre,
The need of the Murid for a Murshid,
You deemed as lacking in merit;
A Taksub Terrible,
Not at all cerebral;
Our best barb pro September Eleven -
Even Steven, contra Americum -
You scoffed off as schoolboy tantrum;
How not to be sore on that score.

So go easy on the cheesy Lizzy,
Cicak, ciplak and cheapo cc,
Spare your old mate, the venom of hate;
Stave off your tirade,
From this Forum, small grade,
On to a bigger parade;
And maybe, fain,
We shall meet again,
Over tehs tarade.

Otherwise we will in chorus,
In unison, vociferous,
Cry Oi to your Oink,
No less.

Neofeudalism, you say?
Oi by a ruler of yesterday?
Reserved for his gundek and gecko?
Recalled here for its cili echo?
Nerd, geek, wacko and cracko,
All melded into one, watcho!

Bluster and bustle,
Hive off to the hustle,
Dorky for the day,
Blather to the bray,
Boy oh boy,
Oink to the Oi.